Many surveys have been done over the years on the family, and the reasons that couples divorce.

The Vanier Institute of the Family has a lot of good information on its website. The surveys consistently point out that, yes, money is one of the great stressors on a relationship and we in the divorce business can attest to that fact!

So, here are 10 tips to help you navigate through separation and divorce during tough economic times. Keep in mind that the last thing you want to do is destroy your remaining net worth.

1. You need to be creative during a down turn in the market. Selling your investments “low” is not advisable and you should avoid liquidation at all costs. You need to “bite the bullet” and find a way to live modestly, but comfortably, until the market turns around. Hopefully, your soon-to-be ex-spouse agrees.
2. Try not to use your retirement funds. Those funds are your “nest egg” for the future, and you will never regret letting them grow during this transitional period.
3. Don’t give a divorce lawyer an arm and a leg to fight your battle. Look for win-win options which use mediation. Using the traditional system of divorce costs way too much and there are no guarantees that you will win, or even find an end point.
4. Find a small circle of people who you trust and who you can share your thoughts with. Your first reaction in a divorce is silence and putting up walls, but you really need people around you at this time; people who will give you good advice, not just what you wish to hear.
5. Divorce often means a lower standard of living while you re-build your life. Where you once had the earning power of two, you are now alone and paying your own bills. So, do a budget for yourself and live within your means.
6. This brings me to my next point – consider asking a financial expert for help. They can be invaluable in guiding you through this rocky and scary time. There are a number of tax pitfalls that can be avoided if you get good professional advice. And don’t trust lawyers to provide you with it because they are not financial experts.
7. You never entered the relationship expecting to be in this position, and so you don’t know your rights, or what the outcome is going to be. Read, research and grow because knowledge is critical at this point. Understanding what lies ahead can be an invaluable help in steering through it.
8. Once you come to a solid decision that the relationship is over, move forward. Do not procrastinate because you will wake up with it and go to bed with it. You’ll take it to work and if you don’t deal with it, it will take your health.
9. Adjustment and flexibility are very important because depending on where you are in the workforce or in your career, you may end up coming to the conclusion that you’re going to have to work longer or in many cases, you will actually have to return to the workplace. Go with the flow and pre-determine that you are going to have a positive attitude as you meet new challenges while you re-invent yourself.
10. And finally, remember that divorce is a transition, not a way of life. This will pass and you will find that there IS life after divorce – even during a terrible economic period.